You'd Think That People Would Have Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs. . .

. . . I look around me and I see it isn't so.

Take Clay Aiken's "Invisible" for instance: "If I was invisible, then I could just watch you in your room. If I was invincible, I'd make you mine tonight. If hearts were unbreakable, then I could just tell you where I stand. I would be the smartest man. If I was invisible (Wait..I already am.)" What girl doesn't dream of being stalked by an invisible man?

Or how about the brilliance of LFO's hit, "Summer Girls": "There was a good man named Paul Revere, I feel much better baby when you're near. You love fun dip and cherry Coke, I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke. When I met you I said my name was Rich, you look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch." This reminds me of when my brother and I used to play "Rhyme Out" and tried to rhyme as many words as we could. I actually wouldn't be surprised if this entire song was the result of a few rounds of "Rhyme Out."

And who could forget Brian McKnight's touching, "Back At One": "One, you're like a dream come true. Two, just wanna be with you. Three, girl it's plain to see that you're the only one for me. Four, repeat steps one through three. Five, make you fall in love with me. If ever I believe my work is done, then I start back at one." I'm still confused about the number of steps this plan actually entails.

Enough of silly love songs. Charles Wesley's "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling" is an incredible song about love and the perfect antidote to the songs I just mentioned.

Love divine, all loves excelling,
Joy of heaven to earth come down;
Fix in us thy humble dwelling;
All thy faithful mercies crown!
Jesus, Thou art all compassion,
Pure unbounded love Thou art;
Visit us with Thy salvation;
Enter every trembling heart.

Breathe, O breathe Thy loving Spirit,
Into every troubled breast!
Let us all in Thee inherit;
Let us find that second rest.
Take away our bent to sinning;
Alpha and Omega be;
End of faith, as its Beginning,
Set our hearts at liberty.

Come, Almighty to deliver,
Let us all Thy life receive;
Suddenly return and never,
Never more Thy temples leave.
Thee we would be always blessing,
Serve Thee as Thy hosts above,
Pray and praise Thee without ceasing,
Glory in Thy perfect love.

Finish, then, Thy new creation;
Pure and spotless let us be.
Let us see Thy great salvation
Perfectly restored in Thee;
Changed from glory into glory,
Till in heaven we take our place,
Till we cast our crowns before Thee,
Lost in wonder, love, and praise.

The Ancient Christian Version of "Spin the Bottle"

I've always liked Valentines Day. In second grade I loved going to the store and carefully selecting my valentines (Disney Princesses? Strawberry Shortcake? Pound Puppies? Rainbow Bright? The possibilities were endless.) In junior high I loved eating mass quantities of candy hearts. In college I loved eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's while watching romantic movies with my girlfriends. And now I love wearing extremely girly clothes and decorating sugar cookies with the kids I work with. Any holiday that encourages the consumption of dark chocolate and the wearing of pink gets my full support.

I decided to do a little sleuthing about the origins of Valentines Day and discovered (gasp!) an ancient Roman holiday and (another gasp!) an attempt to Christianize it. Apparently the Romans celebrated a fertility holiday in February called Lupercalia. Beginning on February 15th, an order of Roman priests called the Luperci would sacrifice a goat (for fertility) and a dog (for purification) at the cave where Romulus and Remus were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The boys of the town then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in blood and went around the city gently slapping women and fields of crops. This was supposed to make them fertile for the coming year.

According to legend, when the goat hide slapping came to an end, the Roman women placed their names in a large urn. The bachelors of the city would then choose a name out of the urn and be paired with that woman for a year. These matches often resulted in marriage.

The early Christians weren't so crazy about most of these rituals and Pope Gelasius I (492-496) outlawed Lupercalia. However, the people seemed to like the drawing the name out of the urn idea, so they started the custom of drawing the names of saints out of a box. You were supposed to try to emulate the saint that you drew for the next year. That means if you picked Simeon Stylites, you got to spend a year on top of a pillar. Hey, this could be a great "spin the bottle" option for youth groups!

So if you are without a significant other on Valentines Day, be grateful that you are not being slapped with a piece of bloody goat. There are worse things than being single.

Happy Chocolate Day!